{"product_id":"9781785039782","title":"How to Be a Footballer","description":"\u003cp\u003e**Winner of the 2018 Telegraph Sports Book Awards Sports Bestseller of the Year** 'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times 'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro Featured on BBC Radio 2 with Chris Evans You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate. So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror. We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay GBP250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions. I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we? Can't get enough of Crouch? Tune into That Peter Crouch Podcast on Radio 5 Live\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"book-contributors\"\u003e\n  \u003cp class=\"contributor-item\"\u003e\n    \u003cspan class=\"contributor-role\"\u003eAuthor\u003c\/span\u003e\n    \u003ca href=\"\/search?q=Author+Peter+Crouch\" class=\"contributor-link\"\u003ePeter Crouch\u003c\/a\u003e\n  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Peter Crouch","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47377747706019,"sku":"9781785039782","price":345.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0741\/7836\/3555\/files\/img_9781785039782_48370331-5fa2-4d3a-87a3-dd31e8293d46.jpg?v=1776589976","url":"https:\/\/graffitibooks.co.za\/products\/9781785039782","provider":"Graffiti Books","version":"1.0","type":"link"}