Year of the Gherkin

Okay, so his credit card is maxed, his boss hates him, his father is a world-class alcoholic and his hairline, like the country, is showing signs of recession. But everything will come right if he sticks to his New Year's resolutions. All he needs to do to get his life back on track is bag himself a great new job, lose 9 kgs, get a girlfriend (blonde, not too much admin) and get 250 Facebook friends without too many freaks.