Coconut Kelz's Guide to Surviving This Shithole

Coconut Kelz ('Kelello, but call me Kelz!') is a young Caucasian woman trapped in a black woman's body. Kelz lives in - and tries never to leave - Sandton and is a staunch member of the DA. She often takes issue with her reverse racist dad, while her mother has to remind her that Braai Day is actually called Heritage Day. With handy tips on how to achieve the white right standard of beauty, how to catch yourself a white guy, the best suburbs to live in and how to host the perfect Caucasian shindig, Kelz offers a complete guide for a full Caucasian conversion. She also shares her thoughts on the differences between race groups, the top three political parties, public transport, how to avoid contact with sgebengas …